SOS

ACT II:

I am back from America for about a month now. I thought everything would be better when I returned. You know kind of blow over and start over again. Yeah, right. Seeing my sister's graduation and seeing family = mostly great. I am not going to bore my readers with my personal life outside the Peace Corps. However, I will admit I only write on this when I am super lonely and to particulary one person who I have doubts that even reads this. Anyway, my work situation is still the same. They do not want to communicewith me or share their projects/listen to my projects. So, when I come we sip tea and they play solitare. I stopped showing up.

I ended up helping with habitat for humanity in a tiny village and now helping out with camps. In a couple of weeks I will start my own with an english teaching organization. Im not thrilled about my work situation and will being moving soon.

I am apparently adjusting to coming back and having a mid service crisis as PC staff have told me . I am frustrated and angrier than ever. There is not an ounce of hope for changing something here I realize. It would have been nice to understand this simple concept 1 year ago! No one is going to change anything, but maybe give someone a chance to do something during the long long long long long long long long long days. With that being said, I hope I will be moved to work in an orphanage soon. Site change. Maybe there is hope for children here.

Interesting events that happen here:

Gum for change.

A woman chased me out of her territory like an animal after taking paints for a camp that I had left there. (One could argue if she was actually chasing me)

I rode in a taxi by myself and stopped at his friend's house for chai and pick up a gun. creepy.

Part of my next door neighbor's apartment collapsed in the middle of the day. No one thought anything of it as it seemed

I saw someone water the plants by gargling it in their mouth then hacking it out onto the plants. I was disgusted and showed this emotion, because it was in a quiet office.

People stare so much. even if i look at them they do not look away. I wave my arm in front of my face to see if they will stop AND THEY DONT. I try not to become hostile, but do sometimes. and of course no reactions
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I want to make it through the Peace Corps somehow someway. It has to become easier. Im seriously thinking of going on a trip in Febuary. Maybe to Malaysia. I know I am such a dreamer, but really. I need something good to look forward to.

I dont understand what is wrong with this place sometimes. Why does noone have any motivation, and why do people treat others badly.

Time Warp

Why does it seem that when life outside of work is going great; work tends to run the opposite direction. I have had a project fall through before it was even started. Thank goodness for that. If I would have started this is would have been a nightmare. We were looking to open a school for parents to learn about their infants health. I was taking the leading role in designing, and then I realized I had to just help them develop ideas not come up with the ideas and write everything. So, everyone at my work is disappointed, and blaming me and then saying its all communication errors. I am having an extremely hard time right now.

Outside of work everything seems to be running smoothly. It is Spring and there is at least green grass. Usually its a huge dust bowl. I am also looking forward to going home. I am going for about a month towards the end of May until June. Also, I am looking into applying for graduate schools. The future seems bright. However, here it seems so slow and daunting at times. I am used to being busy. Here I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. Work ethic is completely different. I dont think it is only a language barrier that is preventing me to keep busy to be honest.

Time concept is about a couple of days off. My landlord told me that if he says he will be at my house at 12, then he will be there 3 hours later than that. He is busy having tea. In America my concept of time is punctuality and 5 minutes early to the time. I dont understand this. How can time be warped, I thought that numbers and there concepets were the same everywhere.

I dont want to change anything here. I just want to understand, and learn to work with my colleagues and make more local friends. Were so much different that I dont know if we will ever completly understand each other. At this point, I just want to make it for the 2 years in harmony with one another. Its hard when people are constantly thinking I am the rich American, and even my neighbors are ripping me off. Im trying to look at the good in the culture here, but at times I cant see it. People are constantly trying to look in their best interest even if it means using the art of deception. Luckily for me, that has become easy for me to see. Hopefully, when I return after vacation and seeing family and friends I will not be as ticked off with everything.